Friday, June 1, 2012

6, 10, and 40

Tonight my friend Lora sent me a precious message and asked me if I blog. My answer is that I wish I had time to. I have only posted here a few times and tonight I logged on to see if I even remembered my password. :) I did...YAY! So I looked through my posts and imagine my surprise when I found a draft I had never finished or posted! I read it and almost cried when I realized how fast time has flown since I wrote it. I'm going to share it with you just for kicks. It's now 2 years later and my kids are about to be 8 and 12...I will be 42....gasp. The happy ending is that the BIG 40 that I was dreading came and passed with no scars. Here's my little draft. Enjoy! over the next few weeks, my children and I will all celebrate birthdays. Well, the children will celebrate birthdays...I will have one...a very big one. THE big one. The one that generates millions of dollars in revenue for the black balloon industry. That one. Dang.

On the celebratory side, my sweet boys will turn 6 on the 21st. Where did those six years go??? And why, in the course of those six years, have the stretch marks they gave me not disappeared? It seems like only yesterday we were passing out Doublemint gum on Christmas Eve as we told our family that I was expecting twins. Jess spent the last half of my pregnancy up in my ribs on the right side. Sam spent that same time somewhere between my left ovary and my left kneecap. They were very entertaining in-utero...there was not a single minute in those 38 weeks that one of them wasn't breakdancing on my bladder or having hiccups. Sophie loved to put the TV remote on top of my stomach and watch them kick it off. They have continued to entertain us until this very night and I'm sure that tomorrow promises more of the same.

I'm a little sad that my little babies...are growing up so fast. I love all of the new things they are doing and watching them come into their own, but I miss the days of footed pjs and diaper bags and their total reliance on me. (I can't believe I'm saying that....after almost losing my mind potty training them.....could I really miss diaper bag days?? Yeah....I do.) did this happen?

To add insult to injury, Sophie Mae will be 10 on the 23rd. TEN. A whole decade. Two whole hands full of fingers. She is totally off the hook for whatever stretch marks she caused because she immediately became a big girl when we brought the boys home from the hospital on her 4th birthday. She grew up that day...really. She has been more than a big sister, and more than mommy's helper. I could not have done it without her. Sophie not only looks older than her almost 10 years, but she is more mature and well-behaved than I am. She rocks. I am so proud of her...she is mine and I'm biased, but I believe that she is simply the most amazing young lady to ever breathe. As she turns 10, she is in that special place where little girls can't decide whether to spend her allowance on a baby doll or lip gloss. I love watching her get lost in both when I have to hold her doll at the mall while she tries on clothes. She is great, and the last 10 years have been such a blessing...a very fast blessing.

I turned 30 about a month after Sophie was born. I was so busy with a new baby that I really didn't have a lot of time to get all worked up about saying goodbye to my 20's. I was just high on motherhood and praying that I would be able to sleep all night again soon. Thirty was nothing...just a number. After all, I had just survived carrying another human being inside my body for what seemed like 2 years. It's not like I was FORTY or something!! Then, I blinked twice and turned around once and here I am looking forty right in the eye. Did I miss something???

I have to get some perspective on this thing! Most of my girlfriends have already had their 40th birthday and lived to tell about it with a sad facebook post. I know it doesn't define me.....right? It's just a number....YEAH RIGHT! A very big number reserved for people who are much older than I am.

****Ok, so here is where my previous draft ended. I'll cap it off by saying that I am so thankful that God has allowed me to see beyond that 40th birthday and am looking forward to the big 42 very soon. What a wonderful blessing to be a mom and a wife and a friend and daughter and a sister to all of the people that God has placed in my life. Lora, thanks for the message. Because of you I found this little nugget and it blessed my heart to relive it. I hope that I can find some time to write some more about the crazy shenanigans that happen around here. They sure are wonderful. Blessings to all of you!

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